Yawn

Well its been another 3 days with little or no sleep. Hopefuly my body is tired enough at this point to crash underthe pressure ridding me of my insomnia.

Life is uneventfull. all news is bad news to some one. And there is no good news to speak of.

My head hurts, i'm thirsty, lonely and above all... tired as lord know what...

Most people run in circles when they burst into flame...

I however shrug it off because its another day in my life. Lately my life has been hell. all i'm missing are some broken bones to match my shattered mindset.

At this point I'm no longer going into detail about all the rotten things in my life. simply because i don't have a week to make one post.

I leave you with a few quotes, for no reason. Followed by another random song to liven up your day.

Henry Ford:
"If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man can have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability."

Belgian Proverb:
"It is no use waiting for your ship to come in unless you have sent one out."

Long days, and longer nights...

Plagued by racing thoughts and contradicting emotions, my nights have become what feels longer then my days. Insomnia has set in and i have noticed myself acting as if manic depression has set in...

My emotions switch so rapidly i can't tell if i'm angry enough to strangle some one, or sad enough i just wish i'd die. At either rate nither one is good and it troubles me to see myself in such a degraded state. Never thought my mental facilities would become as if i didn't own them. I can hardly contain my emotions much less actually control there outbursts; And i fear this is not helping the reason or source problem of my manic depression.

I wish to study the logical mind of computers, and the illogical and some times arbitrary mind of humans. It seems i am no closer to knowing how humans think, but my path towards scripting perfection draws closer and closer. Perhaps one day i'll be able to look back and laugh at my situation... but for now i laugh at it in hysteria, and then as suddenly as i start laughing, i begin weeping.

The Mad Man,
Jester; The King Of Fools

This isn't alright anylonger,...

Dropped 3 classes Monday.... and still i don't have a job... i can't even open a bank account in my name yet...

I'v been thinking about the Navy, or Air-Force... but there is a several month waiting list and i may not even meet requirements to join.

I am looking for a simple job that won't over work me and has a decent amount of pay for putting up with a minimal amount of BS. Sounds simple right? Wrong.... on-top of the fact no such job even exists,.. no one is even hireing right now....

Random Song:
Chombichrist - DNA AM

The times, Are a changeing;

Well i had to drop 3 classes in order to find myself a job since the family is suffering and i'm failing to uphold my self in the classes. Tines are rough and i am heavily considering the military.

They can teach me discipline and strength, as well as bestow my with courage. All of these things i lack. At any rate, i leave you with this short story and random song.

"There once was a man who had no knowledge of who he was, and what his past had been. He had devote his entire life to finding these answers. And one day he met this genie, who ask 'And what will be your third wish?' In reply, the man ask 'What of my second and first wish?' The genie simply said, 'Your second wish was to undo the first.' With this the man realized what his first wish had been was no good and that he had some how forgotten it. He had no other wish but to know of who he was and what his past had been. He then said after a brief moment thinking about it, 'I'd like to know my past, and who i really am.' The genie chuckle uproariously and said, 'Strange; That was your first wish.' And with this the man was bestow with visions, memories, of horrible deeds and crimes. Visions of blood that forever stain his hands and soul. He had come to remember that he was something no mad should ever be. He spat curses at the genie and told him of how it must not be true,.. it COULD not be true. That he had been mistaken by giving him these memories and visions. The genie said simply, 'There are no more wishes you can make, and no way to forget these things once again. You hav eonly yourself to blaim.' And with that the genie return from whence he came; The man no more of a man than a quivering, weepeing husk that he had been all along."

Random song:
Unheilig - Ich Will Alles

Weeeeeeee bad week!

Ok i don't know what it is,.. maybe the time change... but thsi week has been downright horrid to say only the best of it.

Sofar i may have to drop 2 classes.... which forfits my pelgrant for next term....

On the lighterside,.. spring break is next week.

least i'll have a week long reprieve.

Well atleast i know of something to cheer myself up and perhaps you. Enjoy the you-tube Vid.

Blah blah blah...

Nothing new going on,.. still failing my classes still in debt, and NOW i have some hacker stealing my identity, and costing me more $ i don't even have......

Not all that happy anymore. Life sucks and i'v yet to see any light. But hey i still walk a lonely road till i die. Not giving up, never have never will. Peace for now.